This is why I work with children

As we grow older and start having children of our own, it’s nearly impossible to not analyze your own childhood and reflect and compare to the childhood we provide for our children. While my first child has a lot of similar qualities in myself, my second child is a complete replica of me. Yes, my MOST challenging child is just like me. Figures.

My first child was a breeze and he still is to this day at 14. My second child didn’t cry when he was born, but 2 weeks later the crying never stopped. He was a very colicky baby and constantly wanted to nurse and be held. I did not sleep for what felt like years! At 9 months old, he had a severe allergic reaction that required hospitalization. We finally realized that my child was allergic to almost everything, and that was most likely the cause of his colic- an upset stomach.

Now this kid has confidence! He will dress himself in whatever he likes, picks out the shiniest backpack, chooses purple shoes at the store. We continue to stress the important of him being uniquely himself! I love the fact that he doesn’t care what others will think. Until he does.

We had a lot of challenges over the last year in 3rd grade. Anxiety reared it’s ugly head. He didn’t want to go to school. He would become frustrated with the behavior of other children. He complained of not being able to focus because the children were always trying to speak with him. He choose to sit alone at school so that he can focus. At his extra curricular activities, he barely speaks to anyone. This mama was scared. What was happening to him? How could I help him? Why didn’t he want to make friendships?

I immediately went into flight or fight. What did my child need from me at this time? How can I fix it? Until I realized I don’t. I don’t have to fix anything. My child was completely content with having one or two close friends. He is uniquely himself and proud of that. So where did my fears come from?

My own childhood. I remember having a lot of friendships at school but there was always 1 or 2 people that I really connected with. I thought it wasn’t normal for myself, and I convinced myself that I needed a plethora of friends to be normal. Everyone else seemed to have a lot of friends, so shouldn’t I?

One thing I wish I could go back and tell myself as a child is it’s okay to be unique! It’s okay to not fit in the crowd. It’s okay to have 1 or 2 close friendships. I am uniquely me! While I can’t go back in time, I can now use what I’ve learned to help my own child.

So why do I work with children? To encourage children to be themselves. To accept the qualities that they have regardless of what other’s may think. To build their confidence and accept who they are. And to find what makes each individual child unique!

What have you learned about yourself from raising children?